Domestic Commando is for SAHMs and SAHDs (really, can't we come up with a less depressing term? Domestic Commando is so much better than SAHD) who want to enlist and take charge of their stay-at-home parenting decision. I like to serve up helpful tips (Tactical Ops), easy recipes, family preparedness info, and an occasional side of attitude. Whether you're home for a few weeks or a few years, stop by for a positive perspective that's a little bit old school, a little bit new school (sometimes I wish I'd homeschooled), occasionally crunchy and always efficiently self-reliant.
Crisis of Confidence
When I created the job title Domestic Commando, it was a defiant response to the stigma associated with the much maligned (and might I say misleadingly passive) phrase stay-at-home mom. This was the beginning of my own little revolution. More importantly, it laid the foundation for my personal evolution from tentative parent to a veteran of two campaigns: Firstborn and Second Born.
Face it, family life hasn’t mirrored The Waltons for several decades. Most of us don’t experience the built-in education that comes with growing up surrounded by multiple generations. It’s not unusual today to live in a different city or state than our immediate family. So when we are handed the biggest responsibility of our lives (usually wailing and wanting to be fed) it’s quite unnerving that the confidence we have enjoyed up to that point (at school and work) is suddenly M.I.A.
Armed with a healthy dose of attitude and a job title I sincerely wanted to live up to, I began to read everything I could about being a parent and to analyze all the advice I gathered. Did it make sense? Did it fit with my values? Did it feelright? The latter, seemingly simple question became the cornerstone of my parenting style. My confidence as a parent blossomed as I ultimately learned to respect my own instincts.
I came to understand that not all parenting guides worked for all parents and their children. When Second Born joined us, I ultimately learned that what worked for one child didn’t always translate to the other child. I came to realize and embrace the fact that no one could possibly know our children better than their dad and I do and that no one could want the best for them more than we do. What could be more valuable than that?
The ideal of the perfect parent is a myth and a disservice. We’re trying to manage the most inherently unpredictable and truly gut-wrenching job devised. The factors are in constant flux. It’s simply impossible to always get it right. But rather than beat ourselves up for falling short every now and then, we need a little perspective. We are, without question, the most qualified and invested persons in the world to raise our children. Until they hand out customized manuals with each baby, I believe we get points for trying our best.
In fact, I’m confident of that.
